Legalize Me

Tuesday, August 24rd, I became an official student resident of Singapore.

I proceeded through my standard hostel morning ritual of instant black coffee, toasted pb&j, shower, and email check before heading out towards the ICA building.  The ICA is the Immigration and Checkpoint Authority of Singapore.  All citizen, resident, student, and work visa needs are handled in this giant building.  I had been preparing for months to collect the proper paperwork - immigration forms, doctors tests and lab reports, extra passport photos, and passport photocopies.  Already I had heard headache inducing stories from others who have spent hours in the DMV-like waiting rooms of the ICA only to discover they were missing some piece of paper or lacking a specific stamp.  It was not uncommon for some people to make trip after trip to the ICA building, to fix little document errors or re-take a medical test, just to collect that precious identification card that would make them a legal resident.  Once the card was obtained, one would find themselves staring at it's every detail, amazed to have it in their hands, and reflective of all the trouble one went through just to be in that exact moment - holding a Singapore identification card made from about ten cents of plastic.

My appointment was at 10:45am, and I got there in no time by taking the EastWest MRT train line (which is the Singapore subway) from Outram Park (sounds like "ooh-trem" - about 5 minute walk from Chinatown).  I walked into the air conditioned ICA building and quickly found my way to the third floor where the Student Pass services were located.  I was given my queue number and sat down in the hard plastic chairs going through all my application papers to double check that I had everything prepared.  The wild card in the application was the medical sign-off papers with lab reports.  To become a resident in Singapore, one needs to prove they are not HIV positive or have TB.  The medical tests can be done relatively cheaply in Singapore, but that would require another appointment, another office building, and a few day wait for the results to come back.  I decided to handle all my tests in the states, which required copies of every report be stamped and signed by a medical doctor - along with the sign-off document that said you weren't a harbinger of viral doom.  Sometimes....these are not accepted, either because a line wasn't filled out properly, the report wasn't an original copy, or they just don't believe the validity of the documents.  So because of this, I had extra copies of all lab reports - the signed doctors copy, as well as a copy directly from the lab itself.  I even had a cd with photos of my x-ray!

In the end, all my preparedness was just safe thinking, and everything I brought was sufficient for the immigration clerk (my extra copies were just handed back to me with hardly a glance).   In all, the whole procedure took an hour from when I walked in to when when I walked out - with holy ID in hand.  I was officially a legal resident in Singapore.  I could now rent an apartment, open a bank account, get a standard cell phone plan, and subscribe to an internet provider.

Since the ICA building was in a unexplored part of town for me, I decided to go exploring.  I ended up walking back towards Chinatown as opposed to taking the mass transit.  I dove into the hot, humid air and began aimlessly walking the streets and alleys.  I would occasionally stop into a store to cool off or venture into an internet cafe to check on email (my main priority had become looking for a flat, so I was ever diligent to keep checking my email for responses from realtors).  Supposedly there was a Taco Bell in Singapore, so I took my internet opportunity to seek out it's location and compare notes between Singapore Taco Bell and United States Taco Bell.  The location of the heavenly fast food was Funan Mall.  I made that my next destination. 

Lies.  There is no Taco Bell in Funan Mall.  I checked every single corridor, level, and store front.   There was, however, a McDonald's, a Pizza Hut, and a KFC.  I looked with disgust upon those so-called examples of American fast food.  They don't hold a torch to the wonderful goodness that was Taco Bell's reconstituted beans, psuedo ground beef, processed cheese, and questionable produce.  Yes - Taco Bell can be considered a suburban white trash eatery, but it's comfort food to me.  I will always seek out that sodium bomb.  Even if it wrecks havoc on the digestive system.

In any case, you will be happy to know that my lunch ended up being a highly fresh baby spinach salad with cheddar cheese, olives, sprouts, onions, avocado, carrots, cucumber, and mushrooms.  It was tossed a light honey mustard dressing and served with an ice cold lemonade.  This meal cost me a whopping 14 dollars.  At that price, I could get about 3 to 4 regular meals at a hawker stand consisting of hearty soups, curries, noodles and fried rice.  My arteries are gonna look like shit after three years of this. 

After lunch, I was contacted by my friend Eric, who lives in Singapore and previously rescued me from the airport.  We met up back at Funan mall and proceeded a huge walk around downtown Singapore that lasted several hours.  After being in Singapore for about 5 days, I had tons of questions and Eric was full of answers.

We first began by, ironically, eating.  The delicious salad had not held up and I was under the impression that Eric had not eaten yet.  So the two of us went up to a food court in a mall so that Eric could eat and I could snack.  Right away, Eric started recommending things for me to try - most of which were too much for my current appetite.  I ended up getting 6 seafood dumplings while Eric bought Carrot Cake.  We shared the meal so I could partake in Eric's food choice.

Now, you are probably thinking...carrot cake?  Oh ho ho!  This is not the sweet cake with cream cheese frosting that you and I know.  In Singapore, carrot cake is made from a type of radish that is chopped up and blended with rice flour into a mold and then fried up with scrambled egg.  It kind of looks like an omelet.  You tear off chunks of egg and turnip with your chopsticks and dip it into spicy chili sauce.  It is pretty damn good!  There is also a "black carrot cake" that has sweet soy sauce mixed in with the egg mixure - I didn't try that, yet.

Eric recommended that I try "sugar cane" to drink with our meal.  Sugar cane drink is when they literally take a sugar cane and smash and shred the fucking thing in a brutal hand-powered metal machine - any bit of moisture from the stalk is collected in a dish, which is poured over ice and consumed like any other beverage.  It tasted wonderfully fresh - was sweet, but not overpowering so, and had a kind of grassy aftertaste.

After eating, Eric and I walked from mall to mall while talking about Singapore living and culture.  Singapore is definitely a country of commerce.  Malls are all over the place!  EVERYWHERE!  Eric began slowly introducing me to foods to try, places to go, and things to take care of.   Eric has lived in Singapore most of his life, if not all of it.  He explained to me that families in Singapore tend to all live together until someone gets married - then the happy couple moves out (or switches homes).  Of course, the reason families stick together is not just because of a strong dedication and bond, but also because the cost of living in Singapore is incredibly high.  One just doesn't move out when they are an adult - only the wealthy do that.  An individual should expect to be paying $1000 for one bedroom - and that's the starting price.  I became aware that there doesn't really seem to be a middle class in Singapore - at least not in the sense of Americans know it.  Housing is either subsidized government housing (called HDBs) or they are luxurious condos.  There really isn't an in-between.  Cars are a serious luxury - not only are they ridiculously expensive in Singapore, but most the roads are toll roads, so getting from one end of town to the other always costs you money on top of your gas consumption. 

All round Singapore, I had been seeing people burning paper notes, incense, and laying out food offerings.  The food offerings could be found in the most random of places - like in the middle of the grassy divide between traffic lanes or on the sidewalk against a 7-11 building.  Often, they would be fruit with incense sticks stuck in them, but sometimes they were full on entrees like roasted pigs and various rice/noodle dishes.  I asked Eric what was going on and he explained I have arrived in Singapore during the Hungry Ghost Festival.  In the 7th month of the Chinese calendar, the ghosts are said to come up from the underworld and they must be appeased and honored so they will move on (instead of sticking around and causing mischief).   The 15th day of the month it all comes to a climax with rituals and celebrations ... the 15th day was today!

Eric showed me around to a few more places - pointing out the various areas of Singapore.  There is Little India, Little Thailand, Holland Village, etc.  Just about every culture has it's own section of town to call it's own.  Yea, San Francisco kind of has the same thing to, but this is definitely more concentrated and with more variety. 

At one point, we walked by a bunch of giant concrete barricades that were being erected for the big F1 race through the city that would be happening in the city.  That's right - they are going to race mother fucking F1 cars through the city of Singapore!  Upon hearing this, I got super excited!  I don't usually get a boner for cars and machines, but the idea of F1 cars tearing through the city streets and colliding against buildings and blowing up into fiery pieces of shrapnel sounds both exciting and completely improbable in regards to my expectations.  "I'm definitely going to check that out," I told Eric.  "Nope," he said, "tickets are long sold out, and you can't be in the vicinity of the race without a ticket."  DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!  I'll just have to find a sweet ass rooftop to watch from.

Around 6pm, I bid Eric farewell.  He still had tons to show me but I was quite exhausted from walking around (my dogs were barking something fierce).  I was ready to relax and do some writing at the hostel.   Enough exploring for me today.

The night ended on a mellow note.  At one point, I ended up stepping outside again for a quick meal at the hawker stands.  I believe I consumed a Roti John - which is halal chicken sandwich.  On the way back, I found a sweet stage performance going in the middle of a street for the Hungry Ghost Festival.  A singer was dressed up in a full glitter outfit while belting out some epic Chinese pop music.  Behind him, was a guy playingStage lights reflected off the gaudy performer in an array of colors.  He had all the emotional hand gestured down - rising open palm to affirmative fist in air.  Nobody was dancing or even moving for that matter, just staring at the singer - they were just held in hypnotic awe.  I snagged a few pictures and danced in place for several seconds before heading back to the hostel.

When I been back at the hostel, I ran into Rosie, Erica and Mary Ellen.  They were heading out for some food and asked if I wanted to come along.   I planned on doing some more writing, but told them I'd try and find them in a bit.  Try being the keyword - when I did eventually venture off to seek out their eatery location, I came up empty handed.  So instead, I ventured to our $5.50 Tiger beer watering hole and enjoyed one of the tasty beverages.  I sat watching the waiters of the outdoor restaurant known as the Singapore Heritage Restaurant - I was in awe of them.  Every day its the same 4 people standing in the hot, humid weather, doing 12 hour shifts (and then some), literally fishing for customers, and tempting parched throats with their $5.50 "huge" bottles.  I've studied their ways - seen their facial expressions as they people watch, making gestures and comments to one another to pass the time, raise their weary feet for stretches, and automatically sing along to the same god damn loop of popular songs done lounge style.  I bet they all have those songs stuck in their head in the worst way.  In some countries they would be assaulted with a plenitude of cash tips for their work ethics and be driving a Mercedes Benz, but, alas, this isn't another country and their rewards consists of simple job security and the occasional sight of a clumsy tourist tripping head over tits.